is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I will be naked everywhere
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
