Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
