I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
