I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
