i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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