we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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