I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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