Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
