So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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