ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
