She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
