The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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