she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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