I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
