whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize