Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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