Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
