Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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