I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
