i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
