I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
