garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
