life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
