ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All the doctor said was why
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
