i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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