Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
