you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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