wat bout pragnant strippers??
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
