Grow some girl-balls and come out already
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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