West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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