I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
