Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
