ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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