I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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