Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
