you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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