i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
