My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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