How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
