Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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