This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
