you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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