Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
