I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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