What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
