don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
