Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
