This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
