I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
