If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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