I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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