If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
