I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
