he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
