What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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